i suppose i should write something here, and update all of you on who i am and what's going on in my life.

i'm a college graduate; been done almost a year now. it's funny, i really don't feel like an adult  or anything yet. i don't know why - was i supposed to feel different after graduating, and finishing up with school?

i'm currently the lead associate in footwear at dicks sporting goods, the national chain. i've been there since september, and have been promoted once. i'm  on the management fast track, as far as the store manager and distrcit manager are concerned. my department is one of the best in the company; and while it's not perfect it's pretty damn good. i like working there, and while the pay isn't great it's good enough.

for awhile i was thinking about joining the state troopers, but i'm getting cold feet - yet another in a long line of potential jobs that i choose not to pursue. i'm really lame like that.

i've had my own apartment for a month and a half now, sharing with my friend Ryan (Markus, taeryn, you might remember Pellaeon from OD. it's him). it's kinda odd, honestly, as he's even quieter and shier than i am. we don't talk much or do much yet; mostly just play scrabble when i don't have to work the next morning.

i lead a pretty boring, pathetic life - work 40+ hours a week, sleep, eat, and do nothing the rest of the time. only time i go out with people is gaming shit monday nights; and whenever i plan on doing something else something always comes up with me or them to stop it. either my car breaks down, or she has to go to work, or i have to work, or he gets sick... what the fuck? it's like i'm not supposed to have any fun in life. of course, i've found that 99% of people suck, and that those you care the most about tend to just hurt you more.

i don't consider myself a christian anymore, don't really see the point. it's been a few years since i felt at home in a church community, and i just don't see that changing. too many people there are too fucked up; and i haven't met a one who i can relate to or who understands how i see life.

i'm not funny anymore. i'm not creative, not poetic, not much of anything. i am drunk, though. i'm not really depressed, more tired of failing at everything i try to do (outside of work, where i succeed regularly). i know that you're not supposed to live to work; but work (and scrabble) is the only part of my life that i truly enjoy right now. how sad is that?